just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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