U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize