Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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