dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
