ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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