If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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