But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
