I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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