This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
