Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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