I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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