I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
