How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
