OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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