Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
