I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
