Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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