haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
