Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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