Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
3pm strippers are depressing
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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