so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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