you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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