This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
