I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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