It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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