what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
