operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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