I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
3pm strippers are depressing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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