I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
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