she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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