Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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