last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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