Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
