if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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