you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
