Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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