i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize