Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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