We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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