Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
