So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
