I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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