VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
