So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
