I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
