I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Randomize
