did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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