omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
