im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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