Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Are my feet made of real feet?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
