either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
