I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
