he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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