Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
