that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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