His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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