Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
