His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
