If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
