I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
