somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
