I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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