Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I've blown a few things in my day
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
