I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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