Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
