The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well I just put wine in my tea
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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